Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
