i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
