I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
