Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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