i will never coherently bang her
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
