I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
