They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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