Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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