Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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