I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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