so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
