He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
