i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
