The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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