well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
