I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
