I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
