i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
