guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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