Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
