Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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