I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
please come you make the beer taste better
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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