your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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