WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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