Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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