I wanna bring you to show and tell
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
