Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
