Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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