I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
