bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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