dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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