So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
