Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
