Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
