Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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