I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He? As in you personified your dick?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
