normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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