Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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