How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm like, not good at living.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
