While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
