no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
