Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
