I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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