Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
