Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My bed smells like the plague
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
