It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
