Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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