dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
