Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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