we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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